Saved by the Wikipedia black out! In my quest to exercise my literary acumen at least once a day, I was going to compare and contrast life in general to my umbrellas! Not! I have a change of heart due to the fact that I have arisen today with a belly full of greek fire and artillery punch!
LA Fitness once more. Yesterday, Mr B., full of his customary enthusiasm took the first step in revitalizing his spirit and his body at our new adoptive recreational center, alone. Better said, without me at his side. (Truth be told, this was our first mistake.) He was greeted by a confident crackerjack (Also found in: Wikipedia) training salesmen for his first conditioning.
As I understand the account after an endless amount of palaver, the pitchman-sales-trainer says, "I will have you up and about in two months- you are going to walk (with emphasis)!" Suppose we link arms and mindlessly venture into the elliptical together... However, optimistic of Mr. Kettle-bell man, the last time someone chided that out Mr. B came home with a stress fracture and then some.
I have soon become a high voltage protagonist when it comes to leg-ocities; four doctors, two surgeries and six plus therapy centers later...I beg you, please reserve the tall tales for someone more talented than I. My serenity was short lived and an extra dash of an unforeseen dust bunny has upset the program.
Note to LA:
Diagnosis: Femoral nerve damage to leg.
F.Y.I.: Nerves regenerate a hair's length every month and we are now entering year three. WE kind of know the drill.
I have nervously and aggressively comprised a list of do's and don't for the LA protoplasms:
1. Mr. B cannot do stretches on ground level nor can he kneel...just can't do it...and when he says he can't - don't insist.
2. Weight bearing exercises: NO weights, just repetitions...just can't do it...and when he says he can't - don't insist.
3. No rushing, the man knows what he can or can't do; simply monitor and make sure he is stable and following good form...just can't do it...and when he says he can't - don't insist.
4. Speak as little as possible; so far there have been too many words and they just don't make for good sentences..don't do it...its just better that way - s'il vous plaît,, j'insiste!
By the end of the day I will be pitchforking myself to see Hans the head trainer, no relation to Conan the Barbarian, but I submit, close in stature and gray matter and give him some pointers. Something to look forward to. Enjoy the black out and see you tomorrow, Wiki!
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